Eva Essential Blog- The Date Night No One Wants to Have (But Everyone Should)
This week, I’m talking about that inevitable, albeit unsexy, conversation you NEED to have with your partner: “What happens if I become incapacitated or pass away?” Yes, I know, it’s about as appealing as discussing the best way to clean the grout in your bathroom, but bear with me because, this chat is crucial.
Why It’s Important
While it may seem morbid to plan for our us being unable to make our own decisions due to illness (such as stroke etc) or indeed our own passing, it’s a responsible step that can provide immense relief and clarity for our loved ones left behind. One crucial aspect of this planning involves having a candid discussion with our partners about what happens when one of us dies.
While this conversation may seem daunting, framing it as a Date Night can provide a supportive environment for tackling these important matters.
So, having this conversation isn’t about dwelling on the grim aspects of life; it’s about being sensible. It’s about ensuring that if the unthinkable happens, you or your partner isn’t left with some extra unavoidable stress at a time that will undoubtedly be fraught with emotions.
Getting Started: The Ice Breaker
Picture this: you, your significant other, a cosy setting, and a list of vital information that ensures you’re both prepared for anything. Not a typical Friday night but this isn’t just any date night; it’s a chance to have a meaningful conversation about the future with your partner. While the topic may be heavy, creating a safe and intimate space can make it easier to broach.
During your date, cover these essential points:
Life Insurance: Compile a list of any life insurance either of you hold personally or through your workplace. Do some simple maths. How many years would that enable you to meet your outgoings if either of you passed away? Is there a shortfall? If the numbers aren’t adding up, agree to reach out to a financial adviser or obtain more life cover through work.
Once you’ve addressed life insurance, continue compiling a list of other crucial details. Do you have a will? If so, where is it kept? Have you designated a Power of Attorney and if so who would you like this to be? (a POA is someone you trust can make decisions on your behalf if you’re unable to, both financially and health wise)
What is a Will and What is a POA
Will:
- Distribution of Assets: A will allows you to specify how you want your assets to be distributed after your death. Without a will, your assets may be distributed according to state laws, which may not align with your wishes.
- Guardianship of Dependents: If you have dependents, a will allows you to designate a guardian to care for them in the event of your death. This ensures that your children are taken care of by someone you trust.
- Minimize Family Disputes: A clear and legally binding will can help minimise disputes among family members regarding the distribution of your assets. It provides clarity and reduces the likelihood of conflicts arising.
Power of Attorney:
- Decision-Making Authority: A power of attorney grants someone you trust the authority to make financial or healthcare decisions on your behalf if you become incapacitated. This ensures that your affairs are managed according to your wishes, even if you’re unable to communicate them yourself.
- Avoiding Court Intervention: Without a power of attorney, if you become incapacitated, your loved ones may need to go through a lengthy and costly legal process to obtain the authority to make decisions on your behalf. A power of attorney can help avoid this by providing clear instructions in advance.
Overall, having a will and a power of attorney allows you to have control over your affairs, ensure your wishes are carried out, and provide peace of mind for both you and your loved ones.
Life Admin
Are your bills, utilities and bank accounts in both of your names? If not, consider doing so, These are the kinds of details that can easily be overlooked but are the small things that can trip us up when trying to access accounts or information and failing to do so.
Do you exchange passwords for crucial accounts like those on phones and laptops? Nowadays, many of us manage banking, bill payments, and subscriptions through electronic devices. Therefore, establishing a password management system to share these details, if necessary, is highly advisable.
Top Tip: Use a password manager for easy sharing.
Funeral Wishes
This might be the toughest part, but it’s also one of the most important. Do you want a big send-off or a quiet affair? Knowing your wishes can help your partner honour you in the way you’d like.
There is no doubt this is a topic that can get very heavy so if you can sprinkle in some humour to keep things from getting too heavy. The key here is to keep things light-hearted while discussing serious matters. It makes the conversation less daunting and shows your partner that it’s okay to laugh through the tears.
By now, you’ve hopefully navigated through this conversation with your partner, blending practicality with a touch of levity. Remember, the goal isn’t to dwell on the inevitable but to prepare for it responsibly. Think of it as giving your partner a roadmap, not a treasure map (unless you do have a hidden stash of gold somewhere—then by all means, share that too).
So, take a deep breath, muster up some courage, and have that talk. Your partner will thank you for it, and you’ll both sleep a little easier knowing you’ve taken care of each other, whatever the future holds!